The path of confidence is a funny one. I can’t say that it’s been straight, or easy. I wish I had some grand secret to share with all of you, a piece I’ve learned that trumps all others and fixes everything.
The truth is, I don’t.
For those of you experiencing anxiety, I get it. I’ve been there.
My own path of confidence has been closely intertwined with horses. Every step of the way, the horses have helped me in some way or another. Sometimes it has been to nurture me, to show me that I am safe. Other times it is to push me out of my comfort zone. Sometimes it is seeing the reality versus the dream, and knowing that a large part of what is standing in the way is my own confidence.
As I have gone along the path toward confidence, I have had my fair share of ups and downs. I would be lying if I said that fear or nervousness didn’t sometimes crop up, especially in growth situations. Now, though, most of my moments are spent not getting rid of fear but building bravery and expansion.
You don’t have to have total confidence to do what you love. You don’t have to be perfect before you do it. You don’t have to wait until you feel like you could jump 4 foot jumps comfortably before you start jumping 2. Granted, you should have enough of a foundation to be safe, and to not take a tole on your or your horse’s wellness–but if you have that, is it so bad to stretch yourself? Is it so bad to be a little scared but step into the role you wish to play anyway?
This is something I’m playing with right now: stepping into the feeling and the space of the role I want to have, and then allowing myself to grow.